THIS IS WHATs BOTHERING ME

Last Saturday was not a good day for me. Feeling so low that day even at work and i have to cry silently in one of the cubicles of the rest room so that no one will know that I am crying. I did not feel any better after the cry coz I still felt so low. I was talking to Lai how I am feeling but to be honest, all I want to do then was to leave the office and just walk around.

We had our regular QMA meeting so I have to shape up. When its my turn to monitor and evaluate my agent's call, I have to look at an officemate just to tell him to bail me out coz I cant even do a good evaluation. He held my hand and asked if I'm okay and told him I'm not. He knew that something is wrong, he told me that I was even given a good review by my Manager coz for someone who is new in the position, I was able to do a good job when it comes to call evaluation. I just looked at him and gave me a nice hug and told me to tell him what's bothering me. I just smiled and told him I'll try. "Good enough," is all he said.

When my Manager came into the meeting, the first thing she said was she needs to talk to me. To be honest I did not felt good about that but waited until the meeting finished. We were in the middle of the meeting when I was told that one of my staff was terminated effective the same day. That broke my heart and I have to cry so much that very minute.

I was so depressed that day and i cant face the rest of my staff after the meeting. Our VP, saw me crying and I told him what happend. He knew about the termination thing and ask if he could do something about it. I mean, this staff that they are terminating is a guy who never had any discipline issue even before I became their RAMO. He said he did what he can to help my agent but Management doesnt want to reconsider.

I hated it when my manager told me that we have to escort him out of the building that day.

I begged off coz its hard enough to tell my staff he's terminated but escorting him out of the building is another story. Call me a weakling but I dont think I can handle that.

Am i talking sense, even I myself dont think so. Thinking about what happend that day made me question even my own self. "Am I fit for this Job?"